My 8th-Grade Secret to Writing Sales Letters That Cash In Big!

Look, writing a sales letter that rakes in cash isn’t some dark art reserved for the suits. It’s as easy as that book report you slapped together in 8th grade—beginning, middle, end. 

That’s the whole trick, and it works like a charm every damn time.  How do you think I made so much money? 

Here's the whole thing! 

Start with a wallop—hit ‘em hard right out of the gate. 

Make it so they can’t look away. ‘Slash Your Bills in Half by Friday!’—something that grabs ‘em by the throat and won’t let go. 

That’s your beginning. Paint it vivid, make it theirs. I’ve seen a single line like that turn skeptics into suckers faster than you can blink.

Then the middle—here’s where you roll out the meat. Tell ‘em why this matters, weave a little story they can feel in their bones. Maybe it’s how some regular Joe turned a cheap trick into a goldmine, or how a tired mom finally got her mojo back. 

Pile on the good stuff—benefits, proof, the works. Don’t drone on; reel ‘em in. It’s not about facts alone—it’s about making ‘em want it bad.

Now the end—seal the deal with a shove. Tie it up tight and tell ‘em exactly what to do. ‘Pick up the phone, call this number NOW, and say YES to a better life.’ 

That’s your call to action, buddy—no hemming, no hawing. You’re not suggesting; you’re demanding. It’s the big finish, the part that turns daydreams into dollars.

So there it is—beginning, middle, end. Just like that dog-eared report on Huck Finn you scribbled to dodge detention. Only now, instead of a grudging nod from the teacher, you’re stacking sales like a champ. 

Try it—it’s money in the bank!"